Over the years, I have found that growth is not a linear process and happens mostly in areas where you’re not looking.
To me, growth is accepting with gratitude your lovely comments on the short story (which I will expand on, there is so much I have to add about this woman, about her man, about the dream and why it had become so important to her, almost like a partner in crime, or in love, I cannot tell which it will be yet). Mostly, I regard my English as a heap of words my subconscious rakes together to form sentences I need to check upon, not really sure if I have abided by the (grammatical) rules.
Growth also is sidestepping the often-told online wisdom to focus on one thing, become really good at it, and make this your core business. (In short: to focus on business). Nah… what I need, what I REALLY need, is to focus on cultivating joy, and the first step is consciously decide to spend more time doing things I love.
And whaddayaknow: the moment I came to this conclusion, I got the urge to start painting again, now in oils.
My first oil painting ever. Meet Toucky The Toucan, a work in progress!
Adapting my old stippling technique to oils. This too is a work in progress…
This is an exciting adventure, as I’ve never used this medium before, and moreover: I’ve never much cared for figurative art. But it feels like growth to be sitting in my studio again, if even for an hour a day, fiddling with the mysterious paint and sensing all is not lost, far from it.
(Of course, I’ll keep writing. Writing, studying and making art – they all form part of me, my essence. And I don’t care about bankability. What matters is that it helps me get closer to the flow, and by being closer to the flow, I can be more of use in day to day life, to the people I care about, both offline and online.)